亲爱的家长,
我在大学阶段的残疾学生领域工作了30多年, but that is not why I am writing to you 今天. 我是以一个家长的身份写这篇文章的，因此我也是一个和你一样焦虑的人.
如果你担心你的残疾孩子在没有你参与的情况下很难顺利过渡到大学, then you are probably right to be worried. Very few children with disabilities can succeed at the college level. 另一方面, 残疾学生在全国各地的大学校园里生存并茁壮成长. If you still think of your son or daughter as your “child,” 和 they still are comfortable in accepting that role, 现在是时候仔细看看你从哪里来，在你面前有什么. 作为父母, 是时候让网易彩票app退后一步，允许/鼓励/轻轻地推动网易彩票app的社工(残疾学生)为自己的生活承担重要的独立责任, both academically 和 personally.
第一个, 学院和大学为社会福利署提供的服务和支援，所依据的法律与K-12教育体系的服务法规截然不同. As a parent, I have no rights under 504条/ ADA in speaking for my SWD who is in college.
(If you aren’t sure what “504条/ ADA” means in this context, 也许你遇到的残疾服务提供者会收集一些信息来帮助解释设置之间的差异, 法律上和实践上. Two of my favorite websites for learning more are www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html 和 www.希斯.乔治华盛顿.edu/).
社署所提供的服务和支援，有时与高中所提供的服务和支援大不相同, 大学没有义务继续在高中提供的服务, or to adhere to the recommendations of an outside diagnostician. 学院将根据残疾证明文件和与你的社署面谈，自行决定提供哪些服务和支持. 大学里没有IEP课程，也没有地方让我签字得到父母的同意. Indeed, the college doesn’t legally have to care whether I am satisfied or not. My daughter is responsible for her own destiny now.
- 如果你没有被邀请参加社署与残疾服务人员的首次会面，不要感到被侮辱. 一些机构发现，对他们来说，直接(和单独)说话是有帮助的!)，以了解他/她在分享过去服务信息方面的知识和信心, 什么有用，什么没用, 和 what accommodations they hope to have at the college level. You will get a chance to ask your questions, but recognize that it may come later, 而不是更早.
- If you are invited to sit in on the meeting with the disability services folks, 你是否承认你的社署是处理残疾人士相关需要的权威，并清楚表明你相信社署知道所有问题的答案! 试着把你的注意力集中在你的儿子或女儿身上，而不是试图和面试官进行眼神交流. If you look to your SWD, so will the professional.
- DON’T begin any sentence with “S/He needs to have …” 而不是, 你可以试试, 高中的时候, 或“测试他/她的人建议……”，但实际上你最好什么也不说! Try to talk as little as possible in the meeting. 这不是你的会议. Remember, you are there as an observer, not as a participant.
- DO take some time prepping your son/daughter in advance 网易彩票app你认为需要讨论的问题——如果你有机会的话，你会说的事情. Make a list of the topics you would bring up, explain why you think each is important, 和 make sure your SWD has the list in h和 when s/he goes into the interview. Rehearse with your son/daughter, if they will let you. 如果他们是典型的青少年，不愿意坐着排练, 当你演示如何处理某些问题时，让他们坐下来听. 例如, “我认为你应该告诉他们，当你在高中的时候，老师是如何为你安排额外的考试时间的. 我可能会说, 在高中的时候, 我得到了额外的英语考试时间，因为把我的想法写下来要花很长时间, but I never needed it in math.’” Your SWD may not acknowledge the strategies you share, 但当你在面试中听到他/她说出这些话时，你可能会感到惊讶!
- 不要打断. If you disagree with something the disability service provider says, or if your SWD says something that you know is incorrect, 或者如果你看到你的社工同意某事，而你知道他们不知道他们同意什么——不要打断! 让面试进行到底. 给 the disability service provider a chance to draw your SWD out further, give your SWD an opportunity to clarify matters, or simply wait to see if the confusion/disagreement remains. 了解学生在描述他们的需求时的独立性和准确性是很重要的. 你会有机会的.
- DO prompt your son or daughter to speak up 和 share those important points as the interview progresses. 而不是向残疾服务提供者解释为什么约翰尼在数学课上需要计算器, 转身对约翰尼说, “Why don’t you explain to Ms. ____为什么在数学和科学课上使用计算器对你很重要. Is it because you have trouble lining up the columns, or because you have trouble remembering basic math facts or ...“提出一个开放式的问题，鼓励你的社工充实你的回答. 同时，你也在向面试官暗示有一个问题需要讨论. (见? I told you that you would get your chance!)
Why not take notes as the interview progresses? When your son or daughter has exhausted the list of topics to discuss, 残疾服务提供者分享了他们认为重要的所有信息, 轮到你说话了. Go ahead 和 ask your questions. 现在要记住的最重要的事情是，你不想破坏你儿子/女儿的信誉. If you have more information to share on a given subject, try starting the sentence with, “正如苏茜告诉你的, 她使用了……”，然后在已经给出的信息之上添加任何你需要的内容. If you think your SWD gave incorrect information, tread carefully. You might say, “I was surprised to hear Jane say _____. 我会说_____, 因为……”这样你就能让别人明白你的观点，而不会直接反驳你儿子或女儿的话. 你的目标是向社署和残疾服务提供者保证，你支持他们初步的理解, 和 simply want to share another viewpoint.
有句老话说得好:父母能给孩子的只有两样东西:一是根. 另一个是翅膀.
It is time for our kids to solo. 作为父母，这对网易彩票app来说是一个可怕的想法，对他们来说也肯定是可怕的. 没关系. This is what we have all been working towards for a long time. Remember, your son or daughter will call, email, or text if they need you. They know what you can do for them, but now it is time for them to go it alone. Take a deep breath, cross your fingers, wish them well — 和 walk away. 一切都会好起来的!
祝你好运。
简·杰罗博士
骄傲(和恐惧)的妈妈
President of Disability Action Information 和 支持 (DAIS)